When we hear the word label, many of us instinctively think of something negative. We donโt want our children boxed in, defined by one word, or treated differently. But hereโs the truth Iโve learned: labels in the neurodivergent and disability world are not about restrictionโtheyโre about liberation ๐ก
Without the right label, children (and adults too) are labeled anyway. Not by doctors, therapists, or support systems, but by society. By teachers, classmates, family members, and even by themselves. The words they receive in the absence of understanding are often harsh: lazy, naughty, stubborn, inflexible, rude, dramatic, careless.
Iโve seen firsthand how damaging these kinds of labels can be. They stick. They dig in. A child who keeps being told theyโre โtoo muchโ or โnot enoughโ starts to believe it. They internalise those messages and carry them like heavy stones ๐ long after the people who said them are gone.
But when we seek out an official diagnosis, a professional label, something powerful shifts. Suddenly, what once looked like โrudeโ might actually be sensory overwhelm. What once was called โlazyโ might be executive functioning challenges. What was โstubbornโ might be anxiety. The right label reframes the story.
A diagnosis doesnโt define a childโit explains them ๐ฑ
It gives us language. It opens doors to support. It creates understanding and compassion where judgment once lived.
It tells a teacher, โThis child isnโt naughtyโthey need a different learning approach.โ
It tells a parent, โYouโre not failing; your childโs brain just works differently.โ
It tells the child themselves, โYou are not broken. You are not wrong. You are not alone.โ
Facing Criticism from Other Parents
Over the years, Iโve also heard other parents say, โI donโt want my child to be labeled,โ and Iโve even been criticised for giving my children labels. At times, it stung. But I never questioned whether I was doing the right thing.
Iโve come to realise that those comments often come from fear. Fear of judgment. Fear of stigma. Fear of their child being treated differently. But what I see is this: avoiding a label doesnโt protect a childโit leaves them more vulnerable.
Without an accurate diagnosis, the world still gives them labelsโฆ just the wrong ones.
And those wrong labels can do far more harm than the right ones ever could. A supportive label opens doors. An unsupported child is left carrying shame.
So now, when someone questions me, I answer gently but firmly:
I choose labels that empower my children, so the world doesnโt choose labels that hurt them.
Labels are tools. They are bridges. They are keys ๐ that unlock support, funding, accommodations, andโmost importantlyโacceptance.
Without them, we risk leaving our children unprotected from the crueler, inaccurate labels the world throws at them.
Iโd rather my child be labeled autistic, ADHD, dyslexic, disabledโbecause those labels come with paths forwardโthan be mislabeled as lazy, naughty, or rude. One set of labels opens hearts. The other closes them.
And at the end of the day, a label doesnโt change who our child already isโit simply helps the world see them more clearly ๐
By Kylie Gardner
The A List