I am Autistic, and I feel deeply about the feelings of others. I look at situations from the perspectives of those around me. I consider how I can best help. Does this mean I am Autistic—and empathetic?

According to the Cambridge Dictionary, empathy is defined as “the ability to share someone else’s feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person’s situation.”

By this definition, I would describe myself—and many other Autistic people I know—as empathetic, perhaps even hyper-empathetic.

There is a widespread misconception that Autistic people either lack empathy or are unable to express it at all.

While this may be true for some individuals, as it can be for non-Autistic people too, the blanket stereotype that defines Autistic people as non-empathetic is not only unfair—it can have far-reaching consequences for their confidence, wellbeing, and potential.

So what does empathy really look like?

Types of Empathy

Renowned psychologists Daniel Goleman and Paul Ekman identified three main components of empathy: cognitive, emotional, and compassionate.

Cognitive

This form of empathy involves understanding another person’s perspective or point of view. It is the ability to logically place yourself in someone else’s position and consider how a situation might feel or look from their side.

Emotional

Emotional empathy is the ability to feel another person’s emotions alongside them. When someone is distressed, you may feel that distress too. When someone is joyful, you may feel uplifted with them. It can feel as though the emotion has been “caught.”

Compassionate

This type of empathy goes a step further. It involves understanding what someone is going through and responding with action. It is the desire to help, support, or reduce another person’s difficulty in a practical way.

Challenging Conventional Empathy

While some Autistic individuals experience these three types of empathy in varying ways, many also demonstrate empathy in forms that fall outside what is considered “conventional.”

Every Autistic person is unique, and so is the way they experience and express emotions.

At our A List Social Hubs, I regularly witness powerful expressions of empathy between Autistic young people. These moments may not always look like what mainstream society expects, but they are just as meaningful and just as real.

Empathy Recognition

Although many Autistic people feel and express empathy deeply, it is not always recognised as such by neurotypical observers.

Understanding the different ways empathy can be expressed helps others see these moments for what they truly are. This recognition can lead to greater acceptance and a more inclusive mindset.

I have seen teens at our Social Hubs support one another through practical actions, honesty, and quiet presence rather than words or overt emotional displays.

One teen arrived after being severely bullied at school. They were overwhelmed and needed space. They walked outside and sat alone on a stone wall. A few moments later, another teen came and sat about a metre away. They said nothing. They didn’t ask questions. They simply sat nearby.

After some time, when the upset teen began to feel calmer, the other quietly suggested throwing a frisbee together. No words of comfort were needed. The teen felt understood and supported through presence alone.

Intense Emotions

A well-known aspect of autism is heightened sensory awareness. Many Autistic individuals experience increased sensitivity to sound, light, texture, smell, and movement.

In a similar way, this heightened awareness can also apply to emotions. Some Autistic people are deeply attuned to the emotional states of others, sometimes experiencing empathy more intensely than those around them.

Research by Fletcher-Watson and Bird (2020) suggests that Autistic individuals can have a strong capacity to mirror or amplify the emotions of others internally. One participant in their study described it simply: “We express empathy differently.”

Professor Tony Attwood and Dr Michelle Garnett have noted that while we do not yet fully understand how this heightened emotional sensitivity works, many Autistic adults describe an ability to pick up on subtle emotional cues that others may miss.

“I am able to distinguish very subtle cues that others would not see, or it might be a feeling I pick up from them.”

“There’s a kind of instant subconscious reaction to the emotional states of other people that I have understood better in myself over the years.”

We see this at every session of our Social Hubs.

Our teens often arrive “full” from the challenges of the day. One might go straight to a swing to release the built-up energy. The others seem to instinctively know when to leave them alone and when to invite them back into the group.

They sense when someone is angry and needs space to run. They notice when someone is sad and quietly sit beside them. The way they connect with each other is fluid, intuitive, and deeply human.

Consequences of Empathy Stereotypes

The more society understands autism—including the wide range of emotions and how they are expressed—the more inclusive and compassionate our world becomes.

Stereotypes about Autistic people, particularly the belief that they lack empathy, can have serious consequences. These include:

  • Increased bullying and stigmatisation

  • Exclusion and social isolation

  • Limited expectations of what an individual can achieve

  • Reduced opportunities for meaningful connection

  • Lower confidence and wellbeing

It is time to move beyond these misconceptions so Autistic people can live fully and authentically as themselves.

I am calling for greater empathy from mainstream society—not just for Autistic individuals, but for the unique challenges they navigate every single day.

If you have a story about autism and empathy, I would love to hear it. Reach out and share your experience.